I have been working out lately, and by lately I mean since sometime in early December (and sporadically through November & October).  I started with the Wii-Fit, and then was like,"Fuck this shit." because I wasn't seeing any progress and every time I went up in weight I would immediately become disappointed.  It just wasn't working out how I expected, and while I knew that the Wii-Fit and a scale isn't the best way to judge your appearance, that's how it became.  It was like I was being judged by some stupid machine, and while I never saw my weight take a turn for the worse (never went past Normal), it was still really disheartening.

So, I moved on to other things, mainly work out DVDs.  Also.  Carmen Electra's Strip Tease Aerobic Shit.  And I'm starting to feel a real difference.  I can work out for longer every single time without wanting to flop on the floor like a dead fish.  I'm not working out very long, generally about a half-hour of constant exercises, but I feel better.  And I hope I'm starting to look a little better (I can't tell because I am my own worst judge).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I think a couple of weeks of working out is going to give me a brand new figure--Hell, I don't even need it to--but I am hoping that my effort (really.  effort here.) is starting to show.  Working out has started to make me feel better, different.  I feel as if I have a little more energy.  It could all be a bunch of bullshit, and in my head.

But I feel good.

And I want to keep feeling good, so I'm gonna keep going.  I'm just gonna keep away from the weights.  Thanks, but I don't want to look muscular.  I just wanna look toned.  And sexy.  ier.  Sexier.

I've kind of been gone the last week or so. A lot of it due to the fact that my computer had a virus, and after killing it, we decided we might as well reformat. I like clean copies of Windows; it gives me a chance to redecorate my computer, and reorganize and be an overall neat freak. It also gives me a chance to reinstall photoshop & sims 3 and all my fun games to a hopefully better working condition now that our version of Windows isn't slightly corrupted.

Lots of stress in the family. My grandmother was let off Monday, so now she's jobless which is, well, very bad. She's been angry, and depressed, and it just hasn't been fun; she's also been hitting the bottle again, admittedly not beer or wine, but bailey's. I don't think she's been taking her medication, either.

I hope you all have been having a good week, and if you haven't then here's to this one being a little better than last. ♥ Also. It's cold outside. Yay. C:

Wow, I am just--Wow.  Stupid as hell, or something.  I've had to redo my Kadaj application to The Rotting twice because I miscounted my first person.  I mean, just... what the fuck?  Talk about embarrassing.

I don't even have an excuse, other than my own stupidity.  /sobs, why so blind, me?

I'm also insanely nervous to be playing him there because the cast is kind of, just maybe a little awesome.  And I'm rusty.  Super, super rusty.  I feel like I'm just getting into the character again.  And I'm going to fail.  And no one is going to like me.  AND I AM GOING TO FAIL.  Probably twice, all at once.  I FEEL LIKE THE MARIO IN MY ICON.

In other news, I have ants invading my kitchen.  No matter how much I clean it, and scrub it, and make sure it's as tidy-nice as it can get.  THEY JUST KEEP COMING.  I swear, I feel like I'm going to go insane.  GO AWAY, ANTS.  LEAVE MY KITCHEN ALONE.  And the hot water heater is on the fritz, and leaking, so there's water all over the laundry room and it smells like musty water and that means I have to turn the hot water heater on/off when I need it/don't need it and it's uggghh.  this house is falling apart.  with ants.  I bet it's the ants.  Making the house fall apart.

Also, my Aunt moved to Canada.  And at first I didn't care, but I miss my cousins so much.  And she's getting married.  To someone she met online.  In WoW.  Who I don't trust one inkling.  I just can't quite understand, and while everyone is happy she's gone (a mean thing, I know), I can't help but want her back.  Sure, she was a lazy bitch, who couldn't properly take care of her children because derpderp WoW was way more important, but... I miss them so much.  The night before they left, I spent it crying because I'm going to miss Warren so much.

Watched Queen of the Damned last night, and I'm.

Hmm.  I don't know if I liked it or not.  Though, I will admit Stuart Townsend made an appearance in my dreams last night, as a floating head if I remember correctly.  It almost makes me want to read the books, but Anne Rice's writing is so stiff and way too descriptive.  Last I tried, I hardly got through the first couple chapters of that one book about Armand; it was so boring!  I ended up really disappointed.

They're probably still boring. le sigh.

BUT! I did go through the wikipedia to learn more about the series and uggh it could be so good if it wasn't so bad.  Lestat's character is just, what exactly?  A mass of contradictions, and super attractiveness?  And are all the vampires bisexual?  And why am I so picky?  I think zombies have ruined my love for the sexy undead.

Give me a shotgun and a zombie apocalypse any day over a vampire that sparkles and/or can't get it up.

I WANT TO RP!

but i have no attention span for it.  /sobs

Today is my only real day to derp around on the computer.  And I don't even have very long to do said derping.   Life is just beating me hard.  I've got so much to do now, and not enough time to do it.  I don't have time to even plurk.

I need to learn how to manage my time a little better, and deal with stress without snapping under pressure.

ANYWAY.  I'm sorry, f-list, that I'm not all over your entries.  This is the first time I've checked my LJ this week.  Crazy, amirite?  I hope everything is going well for all of you!  KEEP YOUR CHINS UP.

also, netflix is awesome.  it's got twin peaks now.  aaaaaaaaa.

1.  I love the anonmeme.  It's not the wank that draws me in, hell no, it's all the funny.  The trolls.  It's beautiful.  It never ceases to bring a smile to my face, unless some stupid wank happens that makes me lineface.

2.  I updated my hiatus in Luceti because there is no way in hell that I can do anything with Christmas right around the corner.  I r excited.  Yesh.  I'm ready for the family gathering on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day (it's a two day thing in my family).  This year we're going early to my grandparents on Eve because my Aunt is making cake donuts.  Yummy!

3.  THE THIRD BIRTHDAY.  22nd!  TWO DAYS.  /heeeaaavvveeessss I am so excited for some more Aya Brea action.  I WANT TO DRESS HER UP AS LIGHTNING

( video games 4 me )

All right.  I think I'm going to start using my plurk because I kind of really like how cute it is and everyone else using it is a plus, too.  SO ADD ME AT Waking. Go on. You can do it. C: C:

Also, I highly suggest this recipe to anyone that likes burgers, and is tired of the same ol' same ol'. Very delicious, even with blue cheese.

I submitted Kadaj's application. I've been rewriting it for days, and was meaning to watch ACC but I still can't stomach it.

WAI HAVE I BEEN BURNED OUT ON YOU FOR SO LONG, SHINY-CG MOVIE? I read the script instead. C: I can ignore all of Cloud's angsty parts, and Tifa's,"BUT YOU'RE NEVER HERE" and the whole,"I JUST WANT TO BE FOORRGIIVVEEEENNN!" /kicks it

also. i'll do meme later. i gotta go make teh dinner.

( viiddeoo gammmeeee mmeeemeee )

All right.  I should talk about my weekend because it was kind of awesome.  My best friend ended up canceling her party on Saturday, so instead I went out with my dad and aunt to Necropolis.  We had gone last year, and it was so much fun and scary.  This year, however?  Not so much, at least not scary.  I don't know if it was the women in front of us who were the typical stereotype of black women, and screamed and yelped and had me rolling on the ground laughing (it was hilarious), or if it was the lack of workers, but it just wasn't... scary.  At all.  But it sure was a confidence booster.

Why?  Because I was hit on.  A lot.  Called pretty, and cute.  The workers complimented my heels and all that jazz.  God, I love myself sometimes (shuddup, it's good to have some self-confidence).  Also, I had done my hair in a cute butterfly braid.  So adorable.

After the haunted house, we headed to Denny's.  Mind you, we got out of the haunted house at 12:14.  We didn't get out of Denny's until around 2 am, and it was packed.  And that was my Saturday of awesome.

Halloween was your typical halloween.  Went to my grandparents, took my dog with me, had a cookout with hotdogs, burgers, brauts, ribs, etc. etc.  I made a new burger that was topped with carmalized onions, blue cheese, various greens, and spicy mayo; it was amazingly delicious, and I urge you all to try it.  My aunt took the kids out trick or treating while the rest of the adults watched horror movies (first on the list was Night of the Living Dead (not the remake, that sucks), which despite how old it was, had my grandmother cringing).  We made candied apples, and carved pumpkins, sorted candy, and got ZERO trick or treaters.  I was happy about that.

RP WISE: I've had a strong urge to play Kadaj somewhere, and while I'm actually working on an application for Luceti for him, I don't know if I'll submit it.  I want to, but I don't know if I want to.  You know?

I figured Hope was going to lose nearly all (and he, very likely, WILL lose all of them) his castmates within the next couple of months.  I'm not surprised, I reserved him knowing that people will try and gather a cast that wouldn't last, but it's still disappointing.  Hopefully, when apps open up, I'll get castmates that will last (cause I am in no way dropping this kid anytime soon).

FATAL FRAME IV!  FATAL FRAME IV!  FAATTAAALL FRRAAAMMMEEE IV!

I can't stop playing it.  I just wasted most of my day playing it.  I started over to just get all the Hozuki Dolls, and AAAAHHH ghosts are so awesome.  And horror games are so awesome.  And I can't STOP PLAYING!  OH gosh, and the story line is so sad, and I want to play Misaki somewhere.  Or Sakuya.  OR YOU!  BUT MIISSSAAAKKKIIII, AAAAHHH!

This game.  is seriously.  sad, though.  I mean, I just get all wibbly thinking about it.  OH BABY, DON'T MAKE BABIES WITH YOUR SISTER!  THAT IS WRONG!  EVEN IF SHE IS SUPER PRETTY AND YOU'RE SUPER PRETTY!  YOUR BABY IS SCARY AND LIKES TO HURT PEOPLE!

On other parts of my day, my aunt conned me into watching her two children, Warren and Alexis.  Warren is just the sweetest little baby in the entire world.  He calls me Nana, and it's just, eeeeeeee BABIES.  I remember when he used to wail and cry when I left their house.  I miss those days.  Alexis, however, is just the meanest and most manipulative little brat you'll ever meet.  She can and will cry at the drop of a hat if it'll get her what she wants, but she don't pull that shit with me.

I am not above putting that girl in time out.

AAAAH. ANYWAY.  FATAL FRAME!  GO PLAY IT!  ALL OF YOU!  CHERISH THE CAMERA/FLASHLIGHT KILLING WAYS!

Me and my mom are geeking out about FFXIII. I'm for serious. We're giggling back and forth about how cute Hope is, and how much he's matured throughout the game, and how Snow is such an amazing heroic idiot. Oh, we do love this game. It's nice to be able to geek out about something with my mom. We also have no problem discussing our ships, too.

Can you believe she's farther than me in this game? Not by much, but still. :| She's the one that got me into the FF games. I remember when she bought 7 way wayyyy back then (the very day it was released, even), and I watched her play the opening in the living room, and I was just AMAZED at how awesome it looked. She's also the one that introduced me to fanfiction, and writing, and all that jazz.

I love my mommy, no lie. My dad is real into the FF games, too, and he's the main reason I got into Resident Evil and Silent Hill. My family and video games. It's a big thing with us. We're made up of geeks, we're all geeks, even my grandparents. I wonder how this happened...

I had a party to go to last night and ditched it, and now my friend is pissed as fuck. I get it, babe, I get it. Birthday parties with your dumbass pothead friends are a blast, but I'm sick, on meds, and can hardly concentrate. I'm fairly certain large amounts of alcohol, weed, and whatever other shit you wanted me to do would just make things worse.

Plus. Sleeping over there? With them. I swear you must think I'm an idiot. There's a difference between getting drunk with a couple of girlfriends and passing out on the couch and getting drunk with you and a bunch of ugly ass dudes and passing out on the couch. One of them ends up with me with a terrible hangover, and the other one ends up with me with a terrible hangover, and naked.

I hope she gets the fuck over it, and soon. I hate it when she's pissed at me.

RP wise I'm still shot, and wish I could get long enough time on the computer to answer all my tags and get Usagi back in Luceti. I also need to stop dropping tags, I don't mean to, honest, it's just when they sit in my inbox for days I lose all the will to answer them.