Wow, I am just--Wow.  Stupid as hell, or something.  I've had to redo my Kadaj application to The Rotting twice because I miscounted my first person.  I mean, just... what the fuck?  Talk about embarrassing.

I don't even have an excuse, other than my own stupidity.  /sobs, why so blind, me?

I'm also insanely nervous to be playing him there because the cast is kind of, just maybe a little awesome.  And I'm rusty.  Super, super rusty.  I feel like I'm just getting into the character again.  And I'm going to fail.  And no one is going to like me.  AND I AM GOING TO FAIL.  Probably twice, all at once.  I FEEL LIKE THE MARIO IN MY ICON.

In other news, I have ants invading my kitchen.  No matter how much I clean it, and scrub it, and make sure it's as tidy-nice as it can get.  THEY JUST KEEP COMING.  I swear, I feel like I'm going to go insane.  GO AWAY, ANTS.  LEAVE MY KITCHEN ALONE.  And the hot water heater is on the fritz, and leaking, so there's water all over the laundry room and it smells like musty water and that means I have to turn the hot water heater on/off when I need it/don't need it and it's uggghh.  this house is falling apart.  with ants.  I bet it's the ants.  Making the house fall apart.

Also, my Aunt moved to Canada.  And at first I didn't care, but I miss my cousins so much.  And she's getting married.  To someone she met online.  In WoW.  Who I don't trust one inkling.  I just can't quite understand, and while everyone is happy she's gone (a mean thing, I know), I can't help but want her back.  Sure, she was a lazy bitch, who couldn't properly take care of her children because derpderp WoW was way more important, but... I miss them so much.  The night before they left, I spent it crying because I'm going to miss Warren so much.

I wish there was some sort of update I could give you all, but the most I can think of (the most my brain will allow at this moment) is that I'm very, very sick.  I'm spending most of my time on the couch, rotating between the occasional nap, watching TV (though napping + tv go hand in hand), or playing a video game.  I haven't really spared much than an occasional scroll through of my f-list, and it's even worse for Luceti; I mean, I honestly haven't answered a tag since the, hurrrppp, 19th (sorry).

It's kind of bumming me out because I don't really have the brain capacity to play Kadaj, and I really wanted to fuck with him during the event (lulz, him running around thinking he's a priest for Jenova's Witnesses and handing out fliers would've been pretty damn epic).  I'm feeling absolutely terrible about it all because I hate making people wait (sorry again).  So, I put up a hiatus, though I haven't really touched the OOC comm without it; there's not much reason to, honestly.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Anyone have magical medicine that will cure me of my ailments?  I'd love you forever!

I submitted Kadaj's application. I've been rewriting it for days, and was meaning to watch ACC but I still can't stomach it.

WAI HAVE I BEEN BURNED OUT ON YOU FOR SO LONG, SHINY-CG MOVIE? I read the script instead. C: I can ignore all of Cloud's angsty parts, and Tifa's,"BUT YOU'RE NEVER HERE" and the whole,"I JUST WANT TO BE FOORRGIIVVEEEENNN!" /kicks it

also. i'll do meme later. i gotta go make teh dinner.

( viiddeoo gammmeeee mmeeemeee )

All right.  I should talk about my weekend because it was kind of awesome.  My best friend ended up canceling her party on Saturday, so instead I went out with my dad and aunt to Necropolis.  We had gone last year, and it was so much fun and scary.  This year, however?  Not so much, at least not scary.  I don't know if it was the women in front of us who were the typical stereotype of black women, and screamed and yelped and had me rolling on the ground laughing (it was hilarious), or if it was the lack of workers, but it just wasn't... scary.  At all.  But it sure was a confidence booster.

Why?  Because I was hit on.  A lot.  Called pretty, and cute.  The workers complimented my heels and all that jazz.  God, I love myself sometimes (shuddup, it's good to have some self-confidence).  Also, I had done my hair in a cute butterfly braid.  So adorable.

After the haunted house, we headed to Denny's.  Mind you, we got out of the haunted house at 12:14.  We didn't get out of Denny's until around 2 am, and it was packed.  And that was my Saturday of awesome.

Halloween was your typical halloween.  Went to my grandparents, took my dog with me, had a cookout with hotdogs, burgers, brauts, ribs, etc. etc.  I made a new burger that was topped with carmalized onions, blue cheese, various greens, and spicy mayo; it was amazingly delicious, and I urge you all to try it.  My aunt took the kids out trick or treating while the rest of the adults watched horror movies (first on the list was Night of the Living Dead (not the remake, that sucks), which despite how old it was, had my grandmother cringing).  We made candied apples, and carved pumpkins, sorted candy, and got ZERO trick or treaters.  I was happy about that.

RP WISE: I've had a strong urge to play Kadaj somewhere, and while I'm actually working on an application for Luceti for him, I don't know if I'll submit it.  I want to, but I don't know if I want to.  You know?

I hate you, Luceti. Coming up with some silly, stupid, and just calling to my soul event that makes me want to come off of hiatus.

Just look at all the stuff I could.

Look what could happen if Kadaj stumbled onto people cosplaying he and his brothers on 4chan. Or he discovered the terrible tragedy that is all NSFWy on 4chan? It would be beautiful. Beautiful, I TELL YOU!

AND USAGI. AND HOPE! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. I hate Luceti for doing this to me. Hate them. HHHAAATTTEEE THEM.

Maybe my hiatus problem was lack of things to do in Luceti. :| rabble rabble rabble rabble. I'm gonna go beat Infinite Undiscovery now cause I said I wasn't coming off of hiatus until it was beaten. aaannnddd marathon some Sailor Moon and ACC and maybe playing some FFXIII. will somebody do all this for me? I'd pay you with love?

I've always loved playing Kadaj, and he's never really been particularly hard for me to play, but playing him can get stressful. He's got virtually zero positive CR (disregarding Yazoo), and that's all his (or my, however you want to look at it) fault. He's like this ball of hate that's unwilling to get particularly close to anyone, is unwilling to ask for help when he needs it, is unwilling to talk about his angsty emotions, is unwilling to get fucking happy, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

He's never been the kid to make friends, and even when he likes someone he'd never admit it. He does things that purposefully push others away, and I wish he'd stop but if he did that I'd kind of feel that's leaking into OOC territory and I'm unwilling to let that happen.

Why does my favorite character to play have to be such a stupid brat? Why? I wish someone would smack him around and tell him to grow the fuck up.